The Phillipian

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Okay. So, uh, hi, my name is Jack – well, actually, it’s Schuyler – Dickey, and I’m a four-year Senior from Guilford, CT, and I’m running for School President.

I’m running because I want to lead you. Like Tom Brady leads the Patriots or, uh, David Koresh led the Branch Dividians – you get the picture. I’ll be there for you like the Rembrandts.

My platform? Yeah, okay, better student-administration communication, trays in the Paresky Beanery, water...