Although everyone experiences the tomfooleries of Friday the 13th, few know its true cause: the Bad Luck Fairy (BLF). Luckily, I got the chance to interview this elusive fella. Even when simply interviewing him, I could feel the aura of bad luck emitting from his 4’ 9”, 300-pound body.

Me: How do you find the time and energy to torment everyone’s lives?

BLF: Santa Claus has nothing on me. I’m a 24 hour fairy, and I work more than just once a year. Also, I affect the whole world. Got to keep it secular.

Me: Is there any way I can protect myself from your shenanigans?

BLF: You can try and hide your kids, and hide your wives, but I’m finding err’ybody out here.

Me: What has been your best prank ever?

BLF: Do you remember the Ten Plagues from the Book of Exodus? Yeah, that was my idea.